return my video game
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
