is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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