I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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