Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize