On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
