whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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