Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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