We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the day after is always just damage control
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
