Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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