hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize