she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
