I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize