i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
