i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
