New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
