i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
