He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
