We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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