When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
