tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
