1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
