I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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