People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
