I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Found the puke drawer
Shitshow foam night was such a success
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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