Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
