Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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