I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
