There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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