but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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