We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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