I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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