She's JV to your varsity
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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