And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize