Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
