If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize