So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
