Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
