I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
