***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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