I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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