Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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