So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
