you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize