I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
