is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
