I'm going to jail i love you
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
