is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
