Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
