if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
