So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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