Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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