Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
