I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
