Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
