Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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