so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
