dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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