No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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