How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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