i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
