so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
why is half of my head shaved?
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