my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Terrible idea I love it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
