you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
