hotel room ftw
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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